GARDEN VIEWS

By Dell Williams and Lynn Vannucci

Eve's Garden was founded in 1974 by Dell Williams as an outgrowth of her involvement with the women's rights movement. It has long been her unassailable belief that orgasmic women can change the world. By this she means that a woman who is unfettered sexually is unfettered politically, socially, and economically, and she is unstoppable. We are all in the process of rediscovering our sexual, essential, unstoppable selves. Garden Views comes to you with timely information to assist in this joyful process.

March 2007
Eve's Garden applauds the three young women who refused to be censored by their school principal and took a stand for women to define their own bodies.

For those of you who did not hear the broadcast on the Today show, March 9 th , the principal of a high school advised three young women to delete the word “vagina” from the performance of the Vagina Monologues. He claimed it was “inappropriate” for young ears. Ignoring the admonition, the three women performed the excerpt. It is hard to believe that in 2007, when we have reached a state when sexuality is being recognized as a necessary element our well-being and happiness that someone would think it is shameful to say the word “vagina.” We salute their stand in defending their right to free speech and to define their own body.

Lest we go back to a time when women's sexual nature was regarded as sinful, Eve's Garden wishes to inform this principal what a highly important function a woman's vagina plays in the very nature of existence.

The dictionary meaning of the vagina states “a canal in the female mammal that leads from the uterus to the external orifice of the vaginal canal.” What is inappropriate about naming an aspect of the human body? It isn't any different than talking about the heart or kidney. But perhaps he objects to its function?

Let us enlighten him, as well as anyone else who thinks it is inappropriate to mention vaginas to young ears, and instead, insist that the vagina be treated with the respect it deserves. It is the place where life is conceived and the portal where all life emerges. It is to be worshipped as did the ancient people of many civilizations whose wall carvings and artifacts depict the vulva as the most sacred of all objects.

The sacred canal we call the vagina is also home to the clitoris whose 8000 nerve endings bring so much pleasure to women and also provide pleasure to men. In our view, the vagina is to be celebrated and venerated, and this principal, who suspended the three young women for “insubordination” should be suspended from the school system, which is supposed to educate young minds about the human body and not defame it. Shame, shame on him.

When I started Eve's Garden thirty-five years ago, it was my intention to encourage women to overcome any shame or guilt we had about our sexuality, and instead celebrate the joy our own bodies and sexuality. I applaud these young women who have done just that in taking a stand to express their pride and respect for their own body, their sexuality, and the magnificent, venerable VAGINA..

Dell Williams, Founder

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February 2006
Guest columnist, author Kris Radish

Happy Valentine's Day!

Our favorite toy? Well, that varies from day to day, orgasm to orgasm, partner to partner. We thought we'd tell you something about the always reliable, simple and standard silicone dildo you might not know: it's good for you! No matter how old you are, it's beneficial for your vagina to get a regular massage. As you age, your vaginal skin thins. Lifelong, regular penetration will help maintain the flexibility of your vaginal skin, and your potential for pleasure. Dildos come in a variety of bright colors, and so many whimsical shapes - goats and goddesses, dolphins and other slippery sea creatures - it would take the whole column to name them all. They're easy to clean - simply pop them in the top rack of your dishwasher - and they're inexpensive so you can gift one to every woman you know. We know one bride who gave them to all of her bridesmaids - we thought it was a fabulous idea to give the women you love something that is at once fun, fanciful, and conducive to good health!

Celebrate Women By Kris Radish

Why is Kris Radish a best-selling author? Those of you who, like us, have relished her novels can probably come up with a few good reasons: she writes about us, women laughing together and supporting each other as we discover abilities, strengths, and dreams we didn't even know we had. But we know a secret about Kris, a secret we are privy to because she is our own dear friend, and it is this: Kris writes so vividly and precisely about friendship because she is a genius at it. She walks the walk. Or, in Kris's case, she dances the dance and gets all of her buds out on the dance floor with her. Take the advice she offers in this month's column, read her books, take a moment to realize how you cherish those girls who will salsa with you on your best days, and remind you on your worst that you still know all the steps. Visit her at http://www.krisradish.com.

I cannot think of a better place for a Radish than in the middle of Eve's Garden. Hot, spicy, occasionally sexy - when I'm not having a hot flash - and ready to romp across the country with my new novel in my hands. This has gotten me thinking about the women I write about, the women I know, and all the women I am about to meet. Actually, I think about women all of the time. They've always been there. When I fall, there is always one at my elbow. When I loose my way I look up and see this light, follow it, and there she is. When I am in contact with the joyous threads of my soul - the women are everywhere to help me celebrate. Celebrating sexually, socially, personally - in every way possible - is what Eve's Garden is all about and what I am all about and what each one of you should all be about also. My latest novel, Annie Freeman's Fabulous Traveling Funeral, focuses on letting go, on grieving, on the art of living, celebrating - of course, and honoring the female friendships that we all hold in a place that is as sacred as the inner core of the universe. My other best-selling novels, all from Bantam Dell, (no relation to our Dell Williams) The Elegant Gathering of White Snows and Dancing Naked at the Edge of Dawn, all ride the wild and wonderful tide of female friendship, love, openness and help my readers reach towards a place in life that includes lots of dancing naked. Think about it. How in the hell did we all get so serious? When did we stop drinking wine for lunch? Why don't we call in sick? Who said sex over 50 is old stuff? In Annie Freeman I created a group of characters who are called upon to do something that seems at first daunting and impossible. Annie was a larger than life woman who understood the meaning of living, of honoring her female friends, of celebrating even as she was dying. Her last request is to be sent on a traveling funeral and what a funeral it becomes. Annie selected a group of women who at one point in her life made a remarkable difference to her. Her send off is a way for her to honor them, and for them to honor her. This is a funeral like no other and the women who accept the traveling funeral invitation not only have more than a few remarkable moments, they have a hell of a good time as well. Here's my challenge to you. Stop waiting. Try it. Make your own list of potential pallbearers for your traveling funeral and then dance naked before the wind shifts.

Dell Williams has given us all a fine gift and example not only via her life but also through the Garden she created. You can put her name on your list and go from there. Get your hand off the pause button, think of the women in your life who are there, or who were there, and find a way to honor them as you also honor yourself. Invite me to your traveling funeral and I'll bring the refreshments.

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January 2006
Better Than I Ever Expected, by Joan Price

Power Up! By Joan Price:

After suffering not one but two crippling accidents, Joan Price has emerged as a premier fitness trainer, working with private clients and writing books so that people who don't live in northern California can benefit from her common sense approach to lifelong health and well being. We don't think of her as a survivor, we think of her as a thriver, and we can personally attest to the efficacy of her approach - Lynn has been working with Joan for almost seven months and testifies that, at the half century mark, she's thrilled to be in the best shape of her life! Joan is the author of several books about fitness, including our favorite, The Anytime, Anywhere Exercise Book: 300+ quick and easy exercises you can do whenever you want! In her latest book, Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty, Joan talks frankly about how to maintain a robust and satisfying sex life as we age. It's a book that offers advice for older women, and inspiration for younger ones, and is available, of course, through Eve's Garden; an excerpt from this remarkably candid and empowering book follows.

What do I love about vibrators?
.... They're great.
.... They intensify sensations.
.... They increase the probability of orgasm.
.... They increase the intensity of orgasm.
.... They're great (did I say that?) for couple sex as well as solitary sex.
Emotionally, I love sex as much as I ever have. Physically, my hormone depletion has subdued my sexual sensations and made them more difficult to access. The best solution for me is a loving relationship, lots and lots of kissing and touching, and the help of a well-chosen, well-placed vibrator bringing my nerve endings to life so that my physical high matches the emotional one.

Toys Are Us: My Personal Vibrator History:

I bought my first vibrator in my thirties at Macy's: a "personal care" product for, uh, "massage." The instructions said nothing about using it for sex, but, wink-wink, I knew. For decades, I collected vibrators, filling three nightstand drawers, trying to find the model that would do it for me. I've always preferred the strength of plug-in rather than battery-operated sex toys, and now that I'm older, I need the most intensity possible. A few years ago, I cleaned out my drawers, threw out the thirty-year-old attachments that had deteriorated into flakes of plastic, discarded the toys I didn't really like, and kept only my favorites. I hated to throw this large collection in the trash, but I figured neither Goodwill nor my local consignment store would accept used sex toys. I decided I didn't need all these toys anymore because I discovered my favorite: the Eroscillator, an oscillating plug-in designed for clitoral stimulation. It feels great-intense and focused-and it is easy to hold, aim, and adjust intensity. Best of all, the long, slim handle and small vibrating part make it simple and comfortable to use with a partner. Because the Eroscillator is endorsed by Dr. Ruth Westheimer and her picture is on the box, I named mine "Dr. Ruth."

Electrifying Sex: Using Sex Toys with a Partner:

At some point after Robert (then my lover, now my fiancé), and I became sexual, I asked if he'd be open to using a vibrator with me. His response was a definitive, absolute, "No! I don't want a machine in the middle of our lovemaking!" He had no experience with what he called "appliances," and they didn't fit with his feelings about lovemaking as natural and spiritual. When I showed him my vibrator, it seemed like a noisy, mechanical thing. Robert would bring me to orgasm manually-I couldn't come during intercourse at all. He kept asking if there was anything he could do during intercourse so that I could come that way, and my answer was always, "Only if we use a vibrator at the same time.". Finally, he agreed to try it. The intensity of my pleasure won him over. We've used it ever since, and it's part of our love play. Now Robert will say in the middle of lovemaking, "Let's get my buddy, Dr. Ruth!"

Excerpt from Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty used by permission of Seal Press, an Imprint of Avalon Publishing Group. Text copyright 2005 by Joan Price. All rights reserved. Learn more about this book at www.joanprice.com/BetterThanExpected

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August 2005
State of Emergency: John G. Roberts

Young Women: Anti-Roe Nominee John Roberts Could determine Your Access to Birth Control and Abortion for Your Entire Reproductive Lives

When we wrote July's Garden Views, in the last days of this past June, our concern was an imminent vacancy on the United State Supreme Court. While we were attending the National NOW Conference, July 1-3 in Nashville, Tennessee, Justice Sandra Day O'Connor tendered her resignation. The leadership of NOW was a portrait of grace under fire. In less than 24 hours buses were hired, signs were produced, sound equipment was arranged, a program of speakers was designed, and the press was assembled for a mass rally on the mall of Nashville's capital. We moved quickly to let George Bush know that we would not accept an extremist ideologue as Justice O'Connor's replacement. Now George W. Bush has nominated extremist Judge John G. Roberts to fill the Supreme Court vacancy.

As O'Connor's replacement, Roberts would cast the deciding vote on countless matters of individual rights where O'Connor had been a key vote, often in 5-to-4 split-issues. For young women, Roberts' votes could determine their access to birth control and abortion for their entire reproductive lifetimes. Throughout his 26-year career, John G. Roberts has continually supported and promoted an anti-woman agenda. NOW opposed his nomination to U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit in 2003 on these grounds. Roberts actively opposes Roe v. Wade. He wrote several amicus briefs while a Deputy Solicitor General. In one case, where Roe was not even at issue, his brief offered gratuitously: "Roe was wrongly decided and should be overruled." He also wrote a brief in a case NOW brought against Operation Rescue in the effort to stop violent blockades at abortion clinics. His brief and oral argument supported Operation Rescue, and argued that the blockades were merely an expression of opposition to abortion. He is also member of the Federalist Society, an ultra-conservative organization committed to returning to a pre-Civil War era of unquestioned states' rights and rolling back legislation that has advanced women's rights, civil rights, environmental protections and health and safety standards.

Names of Federalist Society heroes and leaders you might recognize are Supreme Court Justices Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas, former U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft and Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah).

How to oppose the nomination of John Roberts and protect your rights:
- Write, telephone, e-mail, and VISIT your congressional representatives; you will find the Congressional Directory at www.gpoaccess.gov/cdirectory/index.html
- Sign up with MoveOn www.moveonpac.org
- Join your local chapter of the National Organization for Women www.now.org
- join a community action team through Planned Parenthood www.ppaction.org/campaign/getoffthebench/forward/ui6xkg4r5x3xx7
- Forward a copy of this newsletter to your friends and family and let them know that their reproductive health and choice are under threat
- Fund the Organizations that are Fighting to Protect Your Rights

The opposition forces behind President Bush have already raised millions of dollars to support whomever Bush appoints for the Supreme Court. Just one such right-wing advocacy organization, Progress for America, has raised $18 million already to fight for President Bush's Supreme Court nominees. Another such organization, the Judicial Confirmation Network, has raised $3 million for its media campaign to fight any attempt to filibuster a Supreme Court nominee.

You can make emergency contributions to The National Organization for Women at www.now.org/contribution.php? code=Q057SWKP3BXX, and the Feminist Majority Foundation at www.feminist.org/donations/fund/oconnor_reply.asp.
Planned Parenthood www.plannedparenthood.org
The National Abortion Rights Action League www.naral.org
The National Latina Institute for Reproductive Health www.latinainstitute.org
The Black Women's Health Imperative www.blackwomenshealth.org
All of the above are among the organizations on the front lines of the battle to protect women's health.

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July 2005
Williams did a lot for women;
let's not go backward

The Sun Rises on the Life and Times of Dell Williams

Laura Berman, Ph.D., is a sex therapist and director of Chicago's Berman Center. She is also a columnist for the Chicago Sun-Times. Her July 4, 2005 column celebrates the life and times of Eve's Garden's founder and guiding light, Dell Williams. Dr. Berman is at the forefront of the on-going mission to educate and inspire women about their sexual health; we are most pleased to share her column with you here. To access the important information in Dr. Berman's column on a regular basis, go to www.suntimes.com.

Sometimes history takes two steps forward and one step back.

We live in a world where I'm able to have a full-time career as a sex therapist. This column would not have been possible as little as 30 years ago. But there are stops and starts along the way, and I can't help but wonder if we've gone into neutral at the moment when it comes to our sexuality.

Today's climate of abstinence-only initiatives and the increasing objectification of women in the media makes me worry that we're traveling back in time, rather than forward. I was reminded of this the other day as I looked through a new book.

Have you had a great orgasm today? This is the question Dell Williams poses in her new memoir, Revolution in the Garden (Silverback Books, $22.95). It's also the query that propelled her into the heart of the women's movement, with her special message that every woman deserves sexual pleasure. It's in part because of work like Williams' that we are where we are today -- both as a society and as women.

A feisty 82, Williams maintains an unwavering belief in knowledge, advocacy and experimentation for women's sexual health and intimacy. She also believes a vibrator is a woman's best friend. I wholeheartedly agree. Under the guidance of Betty Dodson in the early '70s, Williams discovered the pleasure that a vibrator and little self-exploration put in every woman's hands. It was a life-changing experience. So Williams headed over to Macy's to buy her "personal massager." Trouble was, she couldn't find it. After the sales clerk kindly directed her to it, she inquired what she would be using it for. The story goes that Williams mumbled something about her back but felt the whole store was watching her and knew her real intentions. She felt ashamed.

The experience -- combined with the memory of her first truly incredible orgasm -- crystallized her calling in life: to give every woman who wants to improve her sexuality access to the products that can help her, free of shame and humiliation. Sexual pleasure renews us and connects us to others and ourselves.

I fear the message is getting lost in our current zeitgeist. Sex is shrinking back into a territory that is off limits and taboo. However, anybody who hasn't had sex in a while could see Williams' point. Those in touch with their pleasure are generally happier, easier people to be around. It's as if Williams tells us orgasms can save the world. Can they?

I personally admire Williams for jump-starting the trend that gives women access to the devices of our pleasure. Today we take it for granted. But just 30 years ago, when Williams founded Eve's Garden, her female-friendly sex shop in New York, it was the first of its kind. Now it has its own Web site.

As Williams herself put it after she participated in the March for Women's Lives in Washington, D.C.: "I marched and, I'll tell you what, at 82 I'm pretty damned tired of having to go out and tread this same old ground all over again." But no battle was ever won overnight. We just have to make sure we don't stop trying.

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June 2005
The Purpose of the Female Orgasm: FUN

Why do women come?

An article in the May 17, 2005 issue of the New York Times (A Critic Takes On the Logic of Female Orgasm, Dinitia Smith) poses the question: What is the evolutionary purpose of the female orgasm?

The scientific community has never had much trouble explaining the male orgasm: it is so easily tied to reproduction. But women can reproduce with or without orgasm. So what’s the point?

Dr. Elisabeth A. Lloyd, a philosopher of science, professor of biology at Indiana University, and author of the new book, “The Case of the Female Orgasm: Bias in the Science of Evolution,” takes on twenty of the top theories that try to “explain” why women orgasm. Among them are:

1. Female orgasms are artifacts. That is, an embryo takes on its gender in the first eight or nine weeks of life. In boys the penis develops while the girls “get the nerve pathways for orgasm by initially having the same body plan.” Female orgasms are, according to this theory, rather like nipples on men: they are leftovers from the initial stage of embryonic development that serve no real purpose. (Dr. Donald Symons, 1979)
2. Female orgasm is “an unconscious way to evaluate the quality of the male” – his genetic fitness and how suitable he would be as a father. (Dr. John Alcock, 1987)
3. Female orgasm “evolved in nonhuman primates as a way for the female to protect her offspring from the depredation of males.” That is, a male monkey will kill baby monkeys, unless he is the father of that baby. Female monkeys are conditioned by the pleasurable sensations of clitoral stimulation to copulate with multiple partners: the male can’t determine if the baby monkey is his or not and, so, will not kill it. (Dr. Sarah Blaffer Hrdy, 1981)

   We need to know why women come, from an evolutionary point of view, because, according to Dr. Lloyd, “men’s expectations about women’s normal sexuality, about how women should perform, are built around these notions. “And men are the ones who reflect back immediately to the woman whether or not she is adequate sexually.” Really? What all these fine, credentialed scientific folk fail to take into account is – well, scientific evidence.

   Up until about 5,000 years ago, our primary deities were women. Our lives, and everything that sustained them, were believed to issue forth from pleasured women. Indeed, the creation stories of some cultures feature an earth created entirely from the Mother’s exuberant masturbation. Women’s pleasure – and thus, the clitoris – was very important to the ancestors we evolved from.

   By approaching the question – Why do women have orgasms? – from a heterosexual, Judeo-Christian bias, these scientists fall into a trap of assuming that the only important thing about sex is reproduction. The larger question is: what is the function of pleasure in our lives?

   In last month’s Garden Views column we detailed the tally that scientists are now offering us of how active sexual lives keep us physically healthy – from preventing certain kinds of cancers to lowering the incidence of heart attack.

   In this month’s column we ask you to consider the benefits of a robust sexual life that are a little more intangible.

   Sexual pleasure is comprised of sensations as indescribable as “the wash of peach juice in the mouth,” or the complex sweetness of a fig. The experience of sexual pleasure renews us, cleanses us of worldly cares and heartache, connects us to one another.

   According to Wilhelm Reich, a pioneer in the study of sexuality, orgasm is composed of electrically charged energy that is raised and heightened in the course of lovemaking and, at the very pinnacle of orgasm, the energy is released into the universe. Sex is connected to the soul of a human being, part of our essence and our touchstone with the natural world. Reich said that when a person reaches the height of sexual ecstasy, he is as one with his most creative, truest, self.

   Reich was the first person to point out that people are naturally highly sexual beings, and to complain about “compulsory morality” that didn’t allow us to experience fully or freely our own sexuality. He was the first to synthesize the work of sexual researchers and biologists, psychologists and physiologists, historians and sociologists, and theorize that repressed sexuality led to problems not only for the individual who could not access sexual pleasure, but also for the culture as a whole in which those individuals lived.

   Disdain for our human sexuality is disdain for our own core - it is like trying to run a machine from which had been pulled the central pin that keeps all the other gears and cogs moving in harmony. The machine without its central pin breaks down and can’t produce; we humans, without a deeply felt connection to our central longing for love, are also broken down. We are broken down so that we abuse our children, neglect our elderly, and tamper with each other’s hearts with impunity. We rape and rob each other, and we go to war.

   Hearty and healthy sexuality, on the other hand, enhances our natural morality. Reich was a great influence on a whole generation of therapists who still rely, and expand upon, his theories today. Perhaps these reasons that Reich illuminated are quite enough for the deities to have given us humans the capacity for pleasure.

   In summing up her theory, Dr. Lloyd suggests that the female orgasm “is for fun.”

   Perhaps – just perhaps – she’s on to something.

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   May 2005
   The Health Benefits of
   a Healthy Sex Life

   I've been saying so for decades and now medical doctors, researchers, and other health professionals are finally agreeing with me: your sex life can help to keep you healthy!

   Way back in 1974, when I started Eve's Garden, I just knew that something that felt as good as sex had to be good for you. I even had little buttons made up and gave them away at the store – “An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.”

   Now what I knew instinctively is “official.” “How Your Love Life Keeps You Healthy,” was the cover story of the January 19, 2004 issue of Time Magazine. Here is a summary of the health benefits of sex. For a more detailed coverage we recommend finding this issue of Time in your library.

   Heart Disease
   Sex, simply, is terrific cardiovascular exercise. You get your heart rate up, and your blood flowing; oxygen gets delivered more efficiently to your entire body. People who have an active sex life are less prone to suffer heart attacks.

   Weight Control
   Want a good workout? Have an orgasm; a vigorous round of sex can burn up more calories than a whole boring spin class.

   Pain
   Endorphins that are released during orgasm can dull chronic pain associated with migraines, backaches, arthritis, and other debilitating diseases.

   Depression
   Sexually active people appear to be less vulnerable to depression and suicide, perhaps because they are more comfortable with their sexuality.

   Anxiety
   Hormones released during arousal can calm anxiety, ease fears, and break down inhibition.

   Immunity
   Frequent intercourse may boost levels of key immune cells that help fight off colds and other infections.

   Cancer
   Early studies hint that oxytocin and the hormones DHEA, both released during orgasm, may prevent breast-cancer cells from developing into tumors.

   Longevity
   Frequent orgasm has been linked to longer life; this may have something to do with sex's beneficial effects on the heart and immune system.

   Do your Kegels and let June Allyson keep her diapers!
   And that little exercise routine you do specifically in order to keep your sexual muscles in shape—the Kegel exercises that strengthen your PC muscle and keep your pelvic sensations sharp? Regular practice of Kegel exercises is the ultimate route to retaining life-long urinary tract control. Doing your kegels are important for both women and men. If you haven't been doing them, start now; it's never too late. It's easy to identify the PC muscle: the next time you urinate, try to stop the flow in midstream. That muscle you're using to stop the flow is the PC muscle. Gentle but firm contraction, and then complete release of this muscle before the next contraction (release is as important as contraction), is the way to get it into shape; 10–15 repetitions per day are usually sufficient. For further information about Kegel exercises, The G-Spot and Other Recent Discoveries About Human Sexuality , by Dr. Alice Kahn Ladas, Dr. Beverly Whipple, and John D. Perry contains what is still the most comprehensive advice yet about how to do Kegel exercises. Incorporate them into your daily routine.

   The only issue that I take with the medical professionals who are finally coming around to understanding that sex is a healthy part of a wholesome lifestyle is their definition of what constitutes the definition of sex. They tend to narrowly define it as intercourse , and further limit it with the inference that they are talking about heterosexual intercourse . The fact, of course, is that straight sex, gay sex, lesbian sex, and SOLO sex can all provide the same level of arousal, the release of the same wholesome endorphins, and the same healthful benefits.

   When people say, “I hate to say it, but I told you so,” you can pretty much count on that statement being insincere. People love to be proven right. In this case I'm positively glowing that scientific research has finally caught on to what a great many of us have intuited all along. Whether it's intense partner-sex, or an intimate session of self-love, give yourself the healthy gift of an orgasm every day.

   Sex is an all-purpose prescription—maybe not a cure-all, but grand preventative medicine!

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   April 2005
   Doing What Comes Naturally

   There is an old song, "Just doing' what comes naturally." Well, that's what we've been singing, in the shower, in our bedroom, and all around the big apple. For the news is out that when we masturbate, we are truly doing what comes naturally. With the technology of sonograms, a female fetus as young as 32 weeks has been observed touching her vulva. "The caressing movement was centered primarily on the region of the clitoris. Movements stopped after 30 to 40 seconds, and started again after a few moments. Further, these light touches were repeated and were associated with short, rigid movements of the pelvis and legs. After another break, in addition to this behavior, the fetus contracted the muscles of the trunk and limbs, and the climax, clonicotonic movements (rapid muscle contractions) of the body, followed. Finally, she relaxed and rested." Several doctors and the mother observed this behavior for about 20 minutes and reported it in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology in 1996.

   No wonder Infants and children masturbate without anyone teaching them how. We instinctively know what to do. So, the next time your hand dives down to your treasure trove, just remember, you are only doing what comes naturally!

   A big thank you to Rebecca Chalker for new information to light in her book. The author contends, and we heartily agree, that this indicates masturbation is as natural as breathing itself and appears to be an instinctual act.

   "The Clitoral Truth blows the lid off some of the biggest secrets being kept from women and their partners about women's sexual pleasure and how to achieve it." .....www.salon.com

   "What a smashing book! Thanks Rebecca for the up to date research, and for sharing your oh so important wisdom.".....Annie Sprinkle, sex educator

   The Clitoral Truth, is available in our Women's Book section. Considering that the only function of the clitoris is to give women pleasure, in our view this book is essential reading for all women and their partners.

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March 2005
Dell Williams Honored by NOW

NY-NOW presented its Susan B. Anthony Award to Dell Williams on February 24, 2005 , at New York 's City Hall. The award is presented annually to grassroots organizers, and Dell is delighted to be recognized for her lifetime of good work for the cause of women's liberation. Log on to www.nownyc.org for more information about this inspiring event.

Dell Williams' Memoir:
Revolution in the Garden

Dell Williams's powerful and inspiring life story is told in the book Revolution in the Garden: Memoirs of the Gardenkeeper by Dell Williams and Lynn Vannucci, available in stores July 1, 2005 . Go to www.revolutioninthegarden.com to reserve your signed copy today at a special pre-publication discount price.

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February 2005
The Queen of My Self

By Donna Henes, Urban Shaman


Sovereignty Ain't Easy
The roads leading to Queendom are diverse and many. The way to Self-esteem can be complicated and long. Each woman must take her own path, make her own trail, clear a passage for herself through the thick brambles that reach up to trip her. What roads do exist are unmapped, bumpy, and full of potholes, tumbleweed, and road-kill. There are no shortcuts along the Queen's Highway, no services, no shoulders, no signs, but many detours and cul-du-sacs. And the fare can be exorbitant.


Embracing Her Majesty
When I started introducing the Queen in workshops and articles as a helpful archetype for midlife women, I received many requests for detailed instructions on how to become a Queen. "Dear Mama Donna," women would write, "I want to be a Queen, too. How do I access my power? How can I feel good about myself? How do I change my life? How do I find magic and spiritual wisdom? How do I know what to do? How do I learn how to rule?"


On Finding Myself Middle Aged With No Role Model I Could Relate To Because I Am Not a Crone
We have outgrown our tenure as Maidens and as Mothers, yet old age no longer follows immediately after menopause, which is why so many midlife women don't see ourselves (yet) as Crones. Where is the authentic archetype for us?

Treading the Turbulent Midlife Waters
Aging and changing might be inevitable, but it ain't easy. It precipitates in us a great uncertainty. The myriad dramatic disturbances of modern middle life -- menopause, health concerns, the empty nest, divorce, death, and career shifts -- create an overwhelming crisis of identity and purpose for us. What follows is an intense period of questioning absolutely everything -- our goals and achievements, our priorities and our operating systems, our morals and our values, our fears and our fantasies.

Empress Energy: Extending Our Influence Out Into the World
The Queen is a mature woman who has conquered the challenges in Her life and claimed Her own royal power....Now that She is firmly rooted in Her best Self and acting for Her own benefit, She is free to reach out in ever increasing concentric circles and offer Her compassion, expertise, time, and money to people and causes that call to Her sense of response-ability.

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January 2005
What is Normal Sex Anyway?

KINSEY

A FILM REVIEW, by Ani Colt

What happens when you take a dedicated doctor of zoology who has spent 20 years tracking the diversities of gall wasps and put him in bed with his new wife? Two virgins, they find they don?t know what they are doing. Even worse it hurts her so much they end up in the doctor?s office. His plight pole-vaults his life?s work from bugs to people. He moves from exploring the incredible diversity among gall wasps to the amazing diversity you can learn about sex by asking people about their sexual behavior within the context of their lives. He even asked about their parents. How smart. Yet his bugs had parents, and he was used to tracing what causes what.

"Kinsey" was written and directed by Bill Condon. Condon's earlier film "Gods and Monsters" explored the riddles of erotic desire. In this film Condon magnificently portrays Kinsey's life story, from a childhood spent in nature ? often to escape his tyrannical, righteous father, to his older years of fame and failing health. We see Kinsey as a favorite teacher at the University of Indiana who the students nicknamed "Prok", as in Professor K. We see "Prok" and his wife, Clara, and their three children grow up in this film. But mostly we hear Kinsey and his male crew of assistants and employees at the university and then the Institute for Sexual Research talk about sex. We see them and their wives experiment with sexual behavior, too. As parents we sympathize with Kinsey as we watch his relationship with his son unfold. We share his first sexual experience with a man, one of his colleagues. We learn to appreciate Kinsey's love for gardening and his ever present collection of bow ties. Kinsey was a bit of a sexual evangelist with a delightful, yet somewhat nerdy persona.>

This reviewer has been longing for someone to create an inspired movie about our sexuality. In this film Bill Condon certainly has done that while he entertains us.

A great feature of this movie is Kinsey's frequent, frank lectures about sex. Your mother or grandmother may be a bit shocked. Yet, our Dell Williams, at age 82, was so touched by this film she wept. Kinsey shares the sexual facts of life with those who fund him, the Rockefeller Foundation, and even with his priggish, emotionally abusive father. If Kinsey really couldn't get the emotional component of sexuality into his research, we still see him weep while reading letters about people's sexual pain and suffering.

The story line weaves in many misperceptions people had about sex, including the clich' threat of blindness from masturbation, to and including a young woman stating she thought babies come out a woman's navel. Kinsey's intention was to help people. He fashioned a zero to six-point scale, with zero standing for those who are exclusively heterosexual to six standing for those who are exclusively homosexual. His behavioral study shows there is a spectrum with many falling someplace between. He also noted that sexual drive varies greatly, and that many people have premarital and extra marital sex in a culture that pretended they didn't exist. He states that most of the things we call sexual perversions are common. This recognition, as he found, meant that there is little we can call normal "something we need to understand today. Each of us is unique in our sexuality, just as in our fingerprints and DNA. Makes sense does it not" Yet we are schooled to think our sexuality should be this way or that. Yet, unlike our unique fingerprints that stay the same our whole live, our sexuality grows and changes depending on what we are exposed to and what we learn. Kinsey considered himself a three on his scale the exact middle.

At Eve's Garden we recommend this movie. Our founder, Dell Williams was one who picked up the sexual education torch in the early 70's. She opened what was then the first store to sell sexual aids and educational tools made especially to liberate and celebrate women's sexuality. Now, our culture is challenged once again to spread sexual knowledge including servicing our emotional/relational needs (something Kinsey felt he could not study) and our spiritual needs.

The brief review on AOL says: "Fifty-six years after the infamous academic Alfred Kinsey (played by Liam Neeson) published his atom bomb of a study, Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, writer-director Bill Condon (Gods and Monsters) retraces the renowned sex researcher's remarkable life and varied loves, including his wife, Clara (Laura Linney), and his assistant Clyde Martin (Peter Sarsgaard). And we all realize the world hasn't really changed that much since 1948."

There is more to learn so we do change. Let us grow and explore our sexual proclivities and potential, as well as our sexual diversity, something Kinsey researched so enthusiastically. At Eve's Garden we work to help you celebrate your uniqueness and your potential.

As an important addendum, our friend Gina Ogden did the first survey on sexuality and spirituality in the mid 90s. She's just sold a proposal to Shambhala Publications for two books that will share some of her findings. Here are Gina's comments about the Kinsey film: "I saw this movie a couple of days after the presidential election at a special showing for members of SSSS (the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality). It was an extremely moving experience to see it with old friends and colleagues who understand how fragile our sexual freedoms are under the Bush Administration, and how vital they are for our collective health and well-being."

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As the founder of Eve's Garden and a pioneer for women's sexual freedom, Dell Williams has tirelessly worked to help women overcome the guilt and shame they were conditioned to feel about sex and is a respected and trusted figure in the industry. Ms. Williams recently donated her papers and other items from her career to Cornell University's Department for Feminist, Gender and Sexuality Studies. She is also listed in the Who's Who of Sexual Academics and Leaders. You will get a mix of interesting articles from the past as well as the present by Dell. She will also be reviewing the latest books and videos for women and giving you tips on the hot new products we have available.

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