GARDEN VIEWS will bring you the latest news on the sexual frontier … or it may be old news but new to new customers. In any event, it will be information to expand your horizons to new heights of excitement, enlightenment and encouragement to enjoy and celebrate your own sexuality. Dell Williams, Founder Eve's Garden

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What is Normal Sex Anyway?

KINSEY

A FILM REVIEW, by Ani Colt

What happens when you take a dedicated doctor of zoology who has spent 20 years tracking the diversities of gall wasps and put him in bed with his new wife? Two virgins, they find they don’t know what they are doing. Even worse it hurts her so much they end up in the doctor’s office. His plight pole-vaults his life’s work from bugs to people. He moves from exploring the incredible diversity among gall wasps to the amazing diversity you can learn about sex by asking people about their sexual behavior within the context of their lives. He even asked about their parents. How smart. Yet his bugs had parents, and he was used to tracing what causes what.

“Kinsey” was written and directed by Bill Condon. Condon’s earlier film “Gods and Monsters” explored the riddles of erotic desire. In this film Condon magnificently portrays Kinsey’s life story, from a childhood spent in nature – often to escape his tyrannical, righteous father, to his older years of fame and failing health. We see Kinsey as a favorite teacher at the University of Indiana who the students nicknamed “Prok”, as in Professor K. We see “Prok” and his wife, Clara, and their three children grow up in this film. But mostly we hear Kinsey and his male crew of assistants and employees at the university and then the Institute for Sexual Research talk about sex. We see them and their wives experiment with sexual behavior, too. As parents we sympathize with Kinsey as we watch his relationship with his son unfold. We share his first sexual experience with a man, one of his colleagues. We learn to appreciate Kinsey’s love for gardening and his ever present collection of bow ties. Kinsey was a bit of a sexual evangelist with a delightful, yet somewhat nerdy persona.

This reviewer has been longing for someone to create an inspired movie about our sexuality. In this film Bill Condon certainly has done that while he entertains us.

A great feature of this movie is Kinsey’s frequent, frank lectures about sex. Your mother or grandmother may be a bit shocked. Yet, our Dell Williams, at age 82, was so touched by this film she wept. Kinsey shares the sexual facts of life with those who fund him, the Rockefeller Foundation, and even with his priggish, emotionally abusive father. If Kinsey really couldn’t get the emotional component of sexuality into his research, we still see him weep while reading letters about people’s sexual pain and suffering.

The story line weaves in many misperceptions people had about sex, including the cliché threat of blindness from masturbation, to and including a young woman stating she thought babies come out a woman’s navel. Kinsey’s intention was to help people. He fashioned a zero to six-point scale, with zero standing for those who are exclusively heterosexual to six standing for those who are exclusively homosexual. His behavioral study shows there is a spectrum with many falling someplace between. He also noted that sexual drive varies greatly, and that many people have premarital and extra marital sex in a culture that pretended they didn’t exist. He states that most of the things we call sexual perversions are common. This recognition, as he found, meant that there is little we can call normal …something we need to understand today. Each of us is unique in our sexuality, just as in our fingerprints and DNA. Makes sense does it not? Yet we are schooled to think our sexuality should be this way or that. Yet, unlike our unique fingerprints that stay the same our whole live, our sexuality grows and changes depending on what we are exposed to and what we learn. Kinsey considered himself a three on his scale …the exact middle.

At Eve’s Garden we recommend this movie. Our founder, Dell Williams was one who picked up the sexual education torch in the early 70’s. She opened what was then the first store to sell sexual aids and educational tools made especially to liberate and celebrate women’s sexuality. Now, our culture is challenged once again to spread sexual knowledge including servicing our emotional/relational needs (something Kinsey felt he could not study) and our spiritual needs.

The brief review on AOL says: “Fifty-six years after the infamous academic Alfred Kinsey (played by Liam Neeson) published his atom bomb of a study, Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, writer-director Bill Condon (Gods and Monsters) retraces the renowned sex researcher's remarkable life and varied loves, including his wife, Clara (Laura Linney), and his assistant Clyde Martin (Peter Sarsgaard). And we all realize the world hasn't really changed that much since 1948.”

There is more to learn so we do change. Let us grow and explore our sexual proclivities and potential, as well as our sexual diversity, something Kinsey researched so enthusiastically. At Eve’s Garden we work to help you celebrate your uniqueness and your potential.

As an important addendum, our friend Gina Ogden did the first survey on sexuality and spirituality in the mid 90s. She’s just sold a proposal to Shambhala Publications for two books that will share some of her findings. Here are Gina’s comments about the Kinsey film: “I saw this movie a couple of days after the presidential election at a special showing for members of SSSS (the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality). It was an extremely moving experience to see it with old friends and colleagues who understand how fragile our sexual freedoms are under the Bush Administration, and how vital they are for our collective health and well-being.”

Dell Williams ______________________________________________________

DOING WHAT COMES NATURALLY

There is an old song, "Just doing' what comes naturally." Well, that's what we've been singing, in the shower, in our bedroom, and all around the big apple. For the news is out that when we masturbate, we are truly doing what comes naturally. With the technology of sonograms, a female fetus as young as 32 weeks has been observed touching her vulva. "The caressing movement was centered primarily on the region of the clitoris. Movements stopped after 30 to 40 seconds, and started again after a few moments. Further, these light touches were repeated and were associated with short, rigid movements of the pelvis and legs. After another break, in addition to this behavior, the fetus contracted the muscles of the trunk and limbs, and the climax, clonicotonic movements (rapid muscle contractions) of the body, followed. Finally, she relaxed and rested." Several doctors and the mother observed this behavior for about 20 minutes and reported it in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology in 1996.

No wonder Infants and children masturbate without anyone teaching them how. We instinctively know what to do. So, the next time your hand dives down to your treasure trove, just remember, you are only doing what comes naturally!

A big thank you to Rebecca Chalker for new information to light in her book. The author contends, and we heartily agree, that this indicates masturbation is as natural as breathing itself and appears to be an instinctual act.

"The Clitoral Truth blows the lid off some of the biggest secrets being kept from women and their partners about women's sexual pleasure and how to achieve it." .....www.salon.com

"What a smashing book! Thanks Rebecca for the up to date research, and for sharing your oh so important wisdom.".....Annie Sprinkle, sex educator

The Clitoral Truth, is available in our Women's Book section. Considering that the only function of the clitoris is to give women pleasure, in our view this book is essential reading for all women and their partners.

As the founder of Eve's Garden and a pioneer for women's sexual freedom, Dell Williams has tirelessly worked to help women overcome the guilt and shame they were conditioned to feel about sex and is a respected and trusted figure in the industry. Ms. Williams recently donated her papers and other items from her career to Cornell University's Department for Feminist, Gender and Sexuality Studies. She is also listed in the Who's Who of Sexual Academics and Leaders. You will get a mix of interesting articles from the past as well as the present by Dell. She will also be reviewing the latest books and videos for women and giving you tips on the hot new products we have available.